There are times you can’t stop looking at your own reflection in the mirror. There are also times when you all but sneak up on it, and avoid making eye contact.

“How are you?” This is probably one of the most ubiquitous of questions in English speaking cultures. It is often part of a greeting, or conversation starter. But how often do we stop to look into the reflection of our own eyes and ask the question, “how are you, really?” Then, with genuine interest and perhaps a pause, listen attentively as we do other people when they reply us.

We sometimes invest much in treating other people well and forget that we are one of the people, too. Self-attentiveness and kindness are as important as the attentiveness and kindnesses we show to other people; in fact, it makes it a lot easier to value others and be sensitive to them when you’ve learned to first be that way with yourself.

Whenever you drop the ball, dislike a reaction you had to a situation, or wish for a moment that you could avoid yourself for a while, that will be a good time to confront yourself kindly with the words, “how are you?” I think the more often we answer that question to ourselves first, ever before being asked by another, the better. Your heart and innermost voice deserve to be heard – especially by you.

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