Dili’s Log 傾聽你的心 ― dedicated to the people that got me here.

It Doesn’t Get Better

Play video above for context.

Following a few articles I read over the weekend, I haven’t been able to shake my head off thinking about adolescent children – especially the period of ‘cool’. I found the above video and this article particularly interesting, Cool Kids Lose, Though It May Take A Few Years.

Even though I get the message, I’m not exactly sure what to think of the subject. Unfortunately, making a connection with myself at that age isn’t exactly helpful as I’ve always seemed deliberately detached from my peers. I never required or wanted their approval. Around them I was more of a curious subject, and was content with the label. Every now and then I hung out with them, but honestly got bored easily – one can only hear so much trivia at any one time. My closer friends during that period of my life were mostly among teachers and other somewhat responsible grownups. On the other hand, I thought my peers just as curiously as they did of me, and that hasn’t changed much over the years. My personality has remained generally consistent: audacious, outlying, and understated.

While I wasn’t necessarily unpopular in high school, it never was about acceptance for me, anyway. I’ve always been more comfortable being the person I felt most appropriate being: myself. I think the mistake people often make is identify themselves through the lenses or judgement of friends and cohorts, but genuine acceptance only comes from within a person – not from a group or the circle of friends they keep. You alone can tell from the depth of your heart who you are, what really matters, and what is right for you. The same does not have to be right or priority for other people too. While there are universal principles for living as a community, life also affords us the variety of making certain choices individually. I’ve always seemed to enjoy looking at the world from aloof with the recognition that some other people prefer to enjoy the activities from the middle. Neither is innately positive nor negative.

So if I had a conclusion on the topic, it’d probably be this: I don’t think being cool or popular is necessarily negative eventually as long as one keeps their head on the right priorities, and cultivate a mindset that is sensitive to the long-term effects of their choices. In the end, it’s really not about being cool or not, but about priorities. It is true, however, that there is a time and place for gratification and indulgence; not every facet of life has to be long term oriented. However, the important things should be – they have to be. The more farsighted you make your vision of life, the better your decisions and convictions will become. Those, in turn, automatically form your predisposition as well as drive your lifestyle and interests. When you develop more grounded thoughts and secure your heart, the rest of the world will simply become a touring site. You see things that are interesting and can appreciate them, but you know which one is for you. Whether or not you are [or use to be] cool, without the right priorities of life, it doesn’t get better.

 

EndNote: It’s never too late to adjust those priorities even if you missed out on doing so earlier. Change isn’t always about behavior and attitude. Sometimes, it starts simply by adjusting your priorities.

Related Post: Ethereal
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